Friend-like Prayer

I have a new favorite thing to do! I will share. On days when I am going somewhere by myself (such as this morning on my way to school) I have been getting into the habit of praying out loud like God was sitting in the car with me and I was just talking and listening. It. is. amazing. Not only am I talking to the Lord Almighty, but I'm able to hear my own voice speak the words that I want my Savior to hear. Sometimes I even get really emotional because when I speak the words out loud, they take on a whole new meaning. Confession: I really struggle with prayer. My mind moves really fast, and sometimes I feel like stopping and praying for longer than two minutes is darn near impossible. I know it's not, but it DOES feel that way to me. My Savior is worth it, but I still struggle in a huge way! This area is one where I am sooo weak. Please pray for me. But back to my main point.....Has anyone ever seen the movie, "Walking across Egypt?" Well, this movie is pretty slow, but sooo good in the end. It makes me teary. Pretty much, there is a teenager who is in jail and he escapes. An old woman befriends him, and in the end, he is changed. Bottom line. Sorry, if you haven't seen it, cause I totally just spoiled it. But, it's one of those movies where nothing takes you by surprise :) But, in one of the scenes, the old lady asks Wesley (the boy) to pray. He kinda gets weirded out because he had never prayed before. She tells, "Just pray to God, like He's one of your friends." Wesley starts his prayer, "Hey God. Thanks for this food. It sure smells good. Mrs. Rigsbee can flat out cook!....." and he continues. I just find it SO sweet. It's probably my favorite scene because it reminds me that we don't have to pray a perfect prayer to get God's attention. He hears us just the same, no matter how wonderfully is escapes our lips. We need not speak a poetic prayer or talk in a certain tone or voice. Christ wants us to be who we are and simply come to Him and express our concerns, emotions, and praises. God hears us when we stumble across our words. He knows what we mean, when it doesn't come out just right. It's a wonderful and freeing thing to think about :) And this is another thing that I was thinking when it comes to prayer, and I it made me think of Brian and I. When I call and talk to Brian, I don't have to be talking about deep stuff in order for Brian to find interest. He loves when I call and talk to him for two minutes and just tell him that I miss him or I'm thinking about him. It means a lot to him just to know that I care and that I find time in my day to express myself to him. It doesn't matter what I say, or how I say it. He just wants to hear my voice and know that I'm hundreds of miles away, but still caring about him. This reminds me of Christ. We don't always have to come to Christ with "problems." Just like a friend, we can come to Him and tell Him about something that happened in our day. OR we could even just pray for two minutes and tell Christ how much He means and remind Him of how wonderful He is to us. No prayer is perfect, but we are imperfect. God finds joy in seeing His imperfect children finding rest and peace in his perfect presence. "The prayer of the upright pleases Him." -Proverbs 15:8

Video of a song I wrote called "Smile"

Hey everyone! This is one of the songs I wrote. I would love to hear what everyone thinks and get some pointers and opinions. I want to make an album of all the songs I have written so far, so I need viewers to help me see what I could do to make my songs better. Thanks so much for your time!



I hope you liked it!!!!! *crosses fingers* If you would like to hear some of my others, keep checking back on my blog. I'm hoping to get a couple more of them on here in the next couple weeks. Also, a couple weeks back I posted an audio recording of "I'm here." It should be posted somewhere in March :) Thanks again!

It's not about me...

Why is it that right when you think life is good, all of the sudden something happens that is challenging and then you feel like you no longer can go on anymore? It's like you hit a wall and think, "This is it. This is the end of my road. No more from me." Everything around you seems to be crumbling and you wonder how in the world you will make it out of the situation you are in. I have been feeling like that a lot lately, and it's frustrating. I feel like I have been hit with situation after situation and everything is going wrong. I don't understand it. I have a good life and I believe that 100%. I mean, I have Christ, I have great friends, I have a family that loves me, and I have a boyfriend who cares about me....but yet things happen, and it makes everything seem out of whack.

For instance, my family is a mess. I feel like no matter how good it gets, it always goes bad again. Every single part of my family is crazy. There are twisted relationships and mad marriages and hurtful pasts. And it's like the past is lived out in the present. No amount of "working things out" fixes anything. It might be good for a couple weeks but the sour ruins the good taste in my mouth, and next time it's "good," I can't get the bad taste out of my mouth, so nothing is truly sweet anymore. Does that make any sort of sense?

I am mainly struggling with the family. There are other problems going around, but all are things that I know will iron out in time. For instance, there's Brian. I miss him so much and I hate being far away from him, but I know that everything will be okay. I know we care for each other and time and space won't change that. So, of course it's hard, but it's something I can deal with and something I trust will work out. There is no doubt in my mind that it's gonna be okay.

So, the family is the hardest right now. I just feel like I can't handle it anymore and I'm not gonna be able to hold out much longer. That's hard for me to admit! I need prayers because I feel like I'm hitting bottom. The only breath of fresh air that I have is Christ and my friends. I know that sounds terrible because shouldn't Christ be enough? But I AM struggling. I need so much prayer.

Here is what I try to dwell on though. God is bringing things like this into my life in order to shape me into who i need to be. I will fall on my face and screw up, but He knows all about that. These trials are refining me into who I need to be and they are preparing me for eternity in Heaven. Christ is the Potter, I am the clay. The "ripping and punching" that I receive aren't meant to hurt me. It's Christ "molding and shaping" me. It's not all negative like I see it. God sees the big picture and it's my responsibility to throw my hands up and let him mold away. It might be hard and uncomfortable at times, but the person I am because of it will be worth waiting for.

You know what is cool too? God brings things like friends and laughter into life to make it better. See, I don't know what I would do without my friends and without the smiles and laughter that I share with them. It helps the pain A LOT! And I'm glad that even though I'm going through all of this, I can still have joy. Christ knows what I need and He has given it to me. I just need to take a moment and look around me, count my blessings, and thank the Lord for how good i truly have it. Now, I still am hurting and being thankful won't take that away! BUT! Instead of making it all about me, I can make it about God and His work! HE KNOWS what is happening and HE WILL help me through! HE GIVES me great things! HE REMEMBERS me when I'm hurting. It's all about God!!! I have to stop trying to fix things and start letting GOD do what He wants.

Okay, I'm totally getting on a rabbit trail, so I'm just gonna stop. Bottom line: I have issues. God doesn't. I don't know how to fix my life. God does. I need prayer because I'm prideful. God doesn't have pride issues. I need to trust God. He's worth it.

If this post made any sense, please comment. *laughs*