Lie #2: "If my circumstances were different, I would be different."
I grew up in a home that looked peaceful and great from the outside, but on the inside was full of turmoil. I am just gonna be honest and tell you that I have been severely emotionally abused. I didn't begin to realize this until I was 15 years old. I started going to counseling, and that's when I saw how emotionally jacked up I was. The abuse had really affected me deeply, and that made me so angry. I began to get bitter inside, although I didn't see it at the time. I started to notice things about myself that were just plain ugly. I would snap back so easily, smart off to my mother, and I almost had a self-hate problem. It's so hard to explain, but it's like I was extremely insecure and hated so many things about myself. Also, I honestly felt worthless. I still have journal entries saved in my computer where I would write that I didn't feel like I meant anything to my family. I said that I didn't add anything positive but only caused trouble and heartache. Of course, this wasn't true, but I sincerely felt that way. It makes me teary just to think about it because I was so deceived. Bitterness of pain had blinded me, but I wasn't willing to see the freedom the Lord was holding out to me. Instead I would say to God, "If you wouldn't have let all of this happen, I would actually be able to be content" or "I can't help but smart off to my Dad because he caused me too much pain. If it was different between us, I'd be better."
When I was 16, I went to a Youth Conference for a week during the summer. The Lord used the friends and speakers there to really touch my heart and began to soften my built up bitterness. There wasn't an immediate change, but over time I started to really improve. It's like my eyes were slowly opened and I no longer felt like a victim, but a victor! I was able to empty my arms of my bitterness and instead wrap my arms around Christ! I decided to tell myself that NO MATTER what circumstances the Lord has decided to put me in, they were for my ultimate good. I could choose how to handle them. The Lord refines His children by putting them through fires. If we can keep our eyes on Him and let Him sanctify us through it, we will come out on the other side leaping for joy because all the Lord has done!
Now I can honestly say that I wouldn't change anything about my life. If I could go back and change all the hurt, I definitely wouldn't do it. The abuse, the heartache, the fear and insecurity doesn't even measure up compared to what the Lord has done in my life. Yes, things have been very difficult, and there has been a lot of pain. I STILL struggle with insecurities and fears. Ask my boyfriend! Seriously, I have struggled in many areas, but the Lord continues to work. He has been with me so far, so I know He's not leaving me. Praise the Lord! I'm so thankful that because of the change the Lord has made in me, I'm able to find freedom in what most would call bondage.
Anyways, I'll stop rambling, but I want to leave you with a couple verses.
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4
"Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.'" Matthew 13:5
The Lord knows everything that is happening to you and it is for a purpose! Don't let the circumstances control you. Let them change you for the better. Trials don't define you, but reveal who you really are. Let the Lord work through those trials to shape you and mold into something more beautiful than can even be imagined!
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Lies...All Lies! (#1)
In our sinful world, there are a lot of lies that go around, penetrating the hearts of those they come in contact with. These lies slowly leak into our souls and become full blown beliefs and sin. The truth is compromised because sin takes root inside us. Only God can crush those lies to pieces, bring us out of bondage to them, and turn us to the truth again. He can do this through His written word, the Bible. By consulting with what the Lord has written to us, we can be reminded of who we are in, through, and before our Savior!
A couple years ago, I read the book, Lies Women Believe by Lancy Leigh DeMoss. It really changed my thinking on some big issues. I don't think I realized how many lies I allowed myself to believe.For instance, the lie "God is not really enough" is one I really struggled with. If someone were to ask me, "Hey, do you believe that God is enough for you?" I'd say "sure" with no hesitation. But taking a step back and examining my heart, I found that I was not living like I believed it. My mind believed it but my heart didn't reflect it. It was powerful! So, I want to go through some of the lies with you in hopes that it will be used in your life like it was in mine.
The first lie I'll go over today is concerning priorities. Most people are fairly busy. Life gets crazy and sometimes we can get to feeling like we are juggling too many things and we are on the brink of going insane. So, we allow certain things to slack. I know for me, when school would get crazy busy and I was consumed with that, I would allow my quiet time with the Lord to slack. That is not okay! We NEED that alone time with God.
That brings me to the lie, "I can make it without consistent time in the Word and prayer." Building a one on one relationship with Christ is so vital to our spiritual growth and maturity. In the intimate time we spend alone with God, examining ourselves and looking at who Christ is, we are able to see our sinfulness more clearly. I believe one on one time with God has been the most powerful in my life. During the time when I'm alone and quiet before the Lord, I can more vividly see Him sanctifying me and showing me how to be more like He is.
Also, I've found that when I'm not soaking in the Lord's Word every day and developing a relationship with him, I easily fall prey to sin and temptation. When I consistently spend time with the Lord, I feel like I have the most epic accountability partner ever! I don't want to sin because I love the Lord. I don't want to disappoint Him. I know that my sin disgusts Him and it's MY SIN that hung Him on the cross. It's so easy to forget the power in His sacrifice, and as sinners, we need a daily reminder. Psalm 119:9, 11 says, "How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word...I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you."
Nancy Leigh DeMoss says it very well, "If he (Satan) can get us to try to "live the Christian life" without cultivating an intimate relationship with the Lord Jesus, he knows we will be spiritually impotent and defeated. If he can get us to do a great many things "for God" without consciously seeking the will of God through His Word and prayer, we may stir up a lot of religious dust, but we won't do Satan's kingdom any real damage."
A couple years ago, I read the book, Lies Women Believe by Lancy Leigh DeMoss. It really changed my thinking on some big issues. I don't think I realized how many lies I allowed myself to believe.For instance, the lie "God is not really enough" is one I really struggled with. If someone were to ask me, "Hey, do you believe that God is enough for you?" I'd say "sure" with no hesitation. But taking a step back and examining my heart, I found that I was not living like I believed it. My mind believed it but my heart didn't reflect it. It was powerful! So, I want to go through some of the lies with you in hopes that it will be used in your life like it was in mine.
The first lie I'll go over today is concerning priorities. Most people are fairly busy. Life gets crazy and sometimes we can get to feeling like we are juggling too many things and we are on the brink of going insane. So, we allow certain things to slack. I know for me, when school would get crazy busy and I was consumed with that, I would allow my quiet time with the Lord to slack. That is not okay! We NEED that alone time with God.
That brings me to the lie, "I can make it without consistent time in the Word and prayer." Building a one on one relationship with Christ is so vital to our spiritual growth and maturity. In the intimate time we spend alone with God, examining ourselves and looking at who Christ is, we are able to see our sinfulness more clearly. I believe one on one time with God has been the most powerful in my life. During the time when I'm alone and quiet before the Lord, I can more vividly see Him sanctifying me and showing me how to be more like He is.
Also, I've found that when I'm not soaking in the Lord's Word every day and developing a relationship with him, I easily fall prey to sin and temptation. When I consistently spend time with the Lord, I feel like I have the most epic accountability partner ever! I don't want to sin because I love the Lord. I don't want to disappoint Him. I know that my sin disgusts Him and it's MY SIN that hung Him on the cross. It's so easy to forget the power in His sacrifice, and as sinners, we need a daily reminder. Psalm 119:9, 11 says, "How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word...I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you."
Nancy Leigh DeMoss says it very well, "If he (Satan) can get us to try to "live the Christian life" without cultivating an intimate relationship with the Lord Jesus, he knows we will be spiritually impotent and defeated. If he can get us to do a great many things "for God" without consciously seeking the will of God through His Word and prayer, we may stir up a lot of religious dust, but we won't do Satan's kingdom any real damage."
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Shout out to my amazing Savior!
I haven’t blogged in forever, and for that I am sorry. I have really let some things slack because of all that has been going on with me. My goal is to pick it back up though, so here I go
I just want to take a moment to brag on God. I just feel so overwhelmed by him, especially lately. I feel as though the Lord has really increased my faith in the last six months. He has repeatedly shown himself to me and it’s so unbelievable that I can barely express it!
I don’t understand how the Maker of the universe can care about someone like me. How could he take the time to invest in a relationship with Becca Jones? I just don’t get it. It’s so amazing though. 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your cares upon him, because he cares for you.” HE cares about ME. I can tell him all my worries and concerns and he cares about all of those. When I feel like breaking down and crying because everything has gotten so heavy, He cares and will give me exactly what I need. Matthew 6:26 – “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” He gives me EVERYTHING that I need.
Life has gotten very thick lately. There has been a lot of pain for the last 5-6 years and I have really struggled through it all, but at the same time, I have complete peace. It’s like the Lord has been literally beside me all the way, showing me that He is in control and that I have no need to fear or fret. He is my Daddy forever and ever. He will protect me. Even if things don’t go the way I thought they would, he has it all planned out and never will let anything happen that I can’t handle. Everything that comes my way has been filtered through my Savior’s hands.
The things that we go through during our life are not there to hurt us or makes us doubt our faith, but to strengthen us and sharpen us. I also believe that it puts us in a place where we can see God’s love in a way that we never have before. “And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you.” – 1 Peter 5:10
I’m so happy to say that Jesus Christ, the Alpha and Omega, is my God and Savior. It is the most amazing feeling to know that He cares about me. Just thought I would give a shout out to what he has been showing me lately. Praise the Lord for his faithfulness!
While your checking out blogs, visit Brian and my new blog called "MangoLuv." We would love to have more visitors! http://mangoluvers.blogspot.com Thanks for reading!
I just want to take a moment to brag on God. I just feel so overwhelmed by him, especially lately. I feel as though the Lord has really increased my faith in the last six months. He has repeatedly shown himself to me and it’s so unbelievable that I can barely express it!
I don’t understand how the Maker of the universe can care about someone like me. How could he take the time to invest in a relationship with Becca Jones? I just don’t get it. It’s so amazing though. 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your cares upon him, because he cares for you.” HE cares about ME. I can tell him all my worries and concerns and he cares about all of those. When I feel like breaking down and crying because everything has gotten so heavy, He cares and will give me exactly what I need. Matthew 6:26 – “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” He gives me EVERYTHING that I need.
Life has gotten very thick lately. There has been a lot of pain for the last 5-6 years and I have really struggled through it all, but at the same time, I have complete peace. It’s like the Lord has been literally beside me all the way, showing me that He is in control and that I have no need to fear or fret. He is my Daddy forever and ever. He will protect me. Even if things don’t go the way I thought they would, he has it all planned out and never will let anything happen that I can’t handle. Everything that comes my way has been filtered through my Savior’s hands.
The things that we go through during our life are not there to hurt us or makes us doubt our faith, but to strengthen us and sharpen us. I also believe that it puts us in a place where we can see God’s love in a way that we never have before. “And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you.” – 1 Peter 5:10
I’m so happy to say that Jesus Christ, the Alpha and Omega, is my God and Savior. It is the most amazing feeling to know that He cares about me. Just thought I would give a shout out to what he has been showing me lately. Praise the Lord for his faithfulness!
While your checking out blogs, visit Brian and my new blog called "MangoLuv." We would love to have more visitors! http://mangoluvers.blogspot.com Thanks for reading!
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