Are you in a clique? I was.

Definition: Clique - a small, exclusive group of people

Confession: I used to be in a major clique.

I'm not scared to admit it. I believe that it happens to all of us and it's such a great thing to recognize and look out for. I always wonder how my life would be if I didn't get involved with a clique. I was in one in high school for like a year or two, and finally got woken up when I was a senior. I thought, "Becca! What are you doing? You don't know anyone anymore." Since then, I have totally changed and the Lord has made such a difference in my friendships and all of my relationships for that matter. I don't think people realize how enslaving it is. I stopped looking for what would benefit MY appearance and started focusing on how I could bless others and make more friends.

Now, I'm not saying that close relationships are a bad thing. I HAVE EM! I have best friends and people that I enjoy hanging out with more than others. I have best friends. That's life, sorry. I don't believe the Lord opposes that. I mean, think of David and Jonathan in the Bible who were SUPER CLOSE and would give their lives for each other. Also, Jesus had a special relationship with one of his 12 disciples. So, I don't believe it's a bad thing. The Lord gives us those friends who stick "closer than a brother" and He will bless those relationships. But there is a fine line.

When our relationships with others keep us from reaching out to anyone BESIDES THEM, there is a problem. There are so many benefits that are available if we will just take a moment to look around us and see who needs to be talked to. Who is alone? Who is always left out?

What can we do about this? As Christians, I believe that we need to be serving others by befriending them and excepting them. What could God do with a group of teens who love everyone and except everyone, no matter how different, quiet, loud, annoying, or freaky they are. Didn't Christ do this? He reached out to every type of person. He loved, even when he was ridiculed for it. If we could come together and be like Christ in this area, we could create a totally different environment in our churches and schools. There wouldn't be any "loners" and there wouldn't be those who feel left out and unwanted.

Confession #2: I have been in situations, (I still experience these) where I have felt like a third wheel. I would stand alone with my sister, and wonder if we should just stay there or if we should try to join a conversation. It's MISERABLE! No one wants to feel that way. I hate it!
So, when I see someone alone in a corner, I think..."What if that was me? Would I like it? No. Becca, go talk to them."

So, you might be wondering...am I in a clique? Well here are some questions you could ask yourself. I found an article in a magazine that had some questions. I'm gonna re-word them though because they were aimed more towards people with kids. I'm talking more about teens.

1) What holds your friends together as a group? Our lifestyles, families, similarities, hobbies, or is it something more?

2) When a church service is over, do you find yourself migrating toward the same people every time, or are you intentional about talking to others?

3) Are sinful ways of relating to others, such as jealousy or fear, driving any part of my group's dynamics?

4) When was the last time that you included someone new when your group was just hanging out together?

Could we all become watchful for those around us? Could we include others in a "clique" and become a humongous loving community instead? I really believe that God would be glorified.